I Hope You'll Like Me

In the next three months our lives will be completely different. 

In three months time: We will have (hopefully) sold our home, packed it up and relocated our lives to a new state. We will have (hopefully) closed on a new home, unpacked and settled in. I have but 90 days to find a new doctor that we trust, to deliver a new baby that we love. We will live in a brand new climate - with mountains of snow and no familiar faces. Three months. Everything is changing - new place, new people, new baby!

Have we been overwhelmed? I need the most heavily italicized font in history to emphasize the "YES". Relocating to a new state is an enormous feat. Doing it in your last trimester of pregnancy is - well, it sort of feels like pressure cooking your life. We are just trying to keep the lid on, and not blow up the kitchen. Steam has come out of our ears.

But I'll be honest - amongst the crazy process of planning, packing, selling, buying and baby growing - I have continued to let one fear - one unknown ... fester within. I'm hardcore "Type A" in regards to planning and organizing. I'm pragmatic and efficient. While my to-do list may be miles long, I don't actually fear I won't accomplish it. 32 years of fretting and stressing assures me that somehow, someway - it will all get done. But I can't stop myself from worrying over the smallest (and also most important) detail: Will we make friends there? Will we be happy?

Truthfully, it's more selfish than worrying about the "we". I know my kiddos will be fine. Johnny too. It's me. I am worried about me.

I am an unintentional lone wolf. I stay home, which means I won't be seeing any new faces at work. (Well, except little Miss Wright. But I doubt she'll be much for socializing those first few months.) I homeschool, so there aren't other parents at school functions for me. We are secular homeschoolers, which puts us in an even tinier category, and makes finding moms and co-ops that much harder. And then there is church, and the lack-thereof in our lives. So far, Jet has chosen sporting activities that are independent ... He likes to skateboard, but refuses lessons. We go to skateparks, but it's kind of a solo event and I have rarely experienced other Moms around to talk to. He likes to drum ... But again, not a team thing with lots of kids or lots of Moms. My current social life hinges upon the art of aligning complicated schedules with my friends and our crazy busy lives - and crossing paths/throwing myself at our neighbors. I guess what I'm saying is that even here, in a city that I have lived in for half my life - here with a slew of great people I am lucky enough to call friend(s) - I struggle with socializing. I have great friends. I just don't see any of them nearly enough.

And to gas my friendship-fear-fire, the area we are moving to is notoriously religious. Now, I'm from the Bible Belt ... I'm somewhat prepared. But. It makes me that much more nervous. I have been asked what church I go to, upon first meeting, more times than I could count. When confronted with this question, I am forced to say too much or too little. I believe my relationship with God is private and personal, and I definitely don't want to get into all of that with a stranger, especially once I am hoping to become friends with. Those kinds of heavy talks come later - when you have more depth to gauge a person by. If I say we don't go to church, without elaborating, I leave the questioner making assumptions about my beliefs. Both of these scenarios have occurred countless times in my existence, and truthfully - I can't say I've ever gained a great friendship out of them. But I have been warned that yes, this question is to be expected ... and on the regular. (Le sigh.)

I was at my current OB's office, talking about our upcoming move and strategizing with her on how to best find a new OB. And I just kind of broke down. I told her I was petrified of moving - that I didn't think I would make any friends - that I was going to stand out like a sore thumb with my liberal approach to life and religion. And she looked me in the eye, and told me about her experience here. She told me when she first moved to town, she had an event to go to. She asked about the appropriate dress, and was advised to wear "church attire". She said that as the liberal Jewish gal from LA, she had no idea what that meant. She also assured me that if she could be happy here, for 30 years, being the liberal Jewish girl from LA, that I too would be fine. She told me that being different can be cool, and that I can educate and inspire with my different beliefs and approaches. Here's hoping I can ever be as cool and inspiring as Dr. Nikki. {I wrote her a letter after having Navy, letting her know that she was the only woman on Earth who could ever make me look forward to having a Pap smear. Gross, yes. But also true. She is the coolest of the cool, and I am super bummed that she won't be delivering Wright. But I digress ...}

There it is. With my entire world changing around me, I am hung up on - not fitting in. Feeling lonely. Being uneasy in the skin I am in. It's like being 16 again, but with less elasticity.

To the people in our new town: I hope you'll like me. I'm nice, even if I'm different. My kids are exceptional. My husband is hilarious. We love to have company - we love to cook and eat and laugh. Johnny is expert level in finding bizarre YouTube videos ... He can't wait to show you his newest find. (And then 10 of his classics, and then maybe 5 after you're ready to stop watching.) Jet can't wait to showcase his Minecrafting abilities and wow you with his random talks about space and the universe while simultaneously making robot sounds and acting like a hooligan. Navy wants to show you all the furniture she can climb, especially the furniture she isn't supposed to climb on - which is all of it. Wright will likely want to make you go "awwww" and then she'll sleep, eat, and cry. And I can't wait to wrangle them all in - nagging Johnny to turn the videos off, harping on Jet and the noises - while being uber impressed that he knows so much about Jupiter, plucking Navy from the tops of the counter and ushering Wright back to sleep ... All while trying to get some dessert in your belly. We are chaos, but we are fun. And I really hope you will learn to love us! (Seriously. Please. Just like us.)

To everybody here ... VISIT US. We sure plan to visit, too! We will miss you, but we refuse to lose touch. Thank you for making our life rich with comedy and comfort for the last decade and a half.

Google image search for "across country move".