Happiness.
Isn’t that what we’re all after? We chase after many ideas of happiness. We think if we have “more” money, or time, or freedom, or <insert what you want more of here> we’d finally be happy. But being happy – means you don’t need “more” because you have “enough”.
Last year was a really rough year. Without sharing too many painful details I can say that I lost myself. I wandered off my chosen path. I didn’t know who I was, or who I wanted to be. I pushed people that I loved far, far away from myself … and nearly lost everything that I have worked so hard to secure. I nearly shattered my family in this process. I pushed my parents away, tried to sever ties with my husband, and lost a couple of good friends along the way. It was a terrible journey … but I am SO thankful for it. Here’s why:
Time, effort, therapy and a LOT of apologies have helped me turn a new leaf. I was at my “rock bottom”, and my only choices were to die miserable – or work on getting better. Obviously I chose to work through my issues … and with great thanks to my incredible friends and family I was able to rebuild my life - but with a better perspective. I almost lost everything – I felt it slipping away – but because I almost lost it, I was able to see how much I truly appreciated what I had/have.
I moved back in with my husband (full time) this summer. We got a dog. Our son is happy. We are happy. I stopped expecting “perfect”. I stopped lusting for “butterflies” and “endless romance”. I stopped wishing for "better". I started staring “family” in the eye … for the good and the bad and the everyday that it is. And what I saw staring back at me – was love. I don’t need “more” because what I have right now is absolutely more than enough. (In fact - it's more than I could ever hope for!)
I was Face Timing with my Mom the other night (we do this sometimes, so she can see my little guy) and she gave me one of the best compliments of my life (I don’t think she even knew how much it meant to me when she said it!) … she said that my house seemed so alive, full, and happy. I had music playing, food cooking, a little boy dancing and being noisy, a dog barking, and a husband by my side. I looked around and all I could do was feel … genuinely … happy.
I found my happy by recognizing exactly what I have ...
Guess what I found out along the way? Being happy does a WHOLE LOT for your self esteem! Do yourself a favor, and try and seek out your own happy! (If you’re at your rock bottom – don’t lose hope. Sadness helps balance out the true gift that happiness is. Work through your grief – deal with your demons (by looking them in the eye!) and trust that with time, effort, and apologies – you’ll likely find yourself back on top!)