Hanging The Moon
Jackson and I left New London for Minneapolis on Sunday evening - It’s a two hour drive. My Mom flew in to meet us at the airport so she could drive the rest of the way home with us. Jackson and I were both raw from an emotional week, but especially after having to say our goodbyes. The mood in the car was mostly quiet and somber.
About an hour out of New London I spotted something strange in the sky. I couldn’t figure out if a building was on fire, or if what I was seeing was some sort of neon sign. It was a bright goldenrod kind of hue. It occurred to me that it might be the moon, obstructed by trees, so I called Johnny to have him examine what he was seeing. He reported back that the moon was full, and what direction to look for it. This mysterious yellowish light was in fact, just the moon.
The moon we saw was special. It was bigger than I’ve ever seen it appear, and the color was so unique. Jackson and I were almost giddy - totally captivated by the size and color. I called Johnny to compare notes, but he wasn’t seeing what we were. If Jackson hadn’t been there, I might have second guessed myself - it was just - wonderfully strange. But Jack saw it too - big and bright and gold. Jackson said we should call it, “Robin’s Moon”. I agreed, and we nodded at it in thanks - for being a beautiful and much needed distraction. We tried to take photos but my night driving needed focus, and Jackson’s 11 year old skills still need some fine tuning. Picture or not, it’s burned into my memory.
By the time we reached Minneapolis, the moon was back to its normal size and color.
Last night I was up at 1, with a feverish and barfing baby. And then up at 3 with a feverish and barfing toddler. With our bed stripped, and without a spare pair of linens, we landed on the couch. (Which I diligently wrapped in garbage bags and blankets.) I was feeling defeated - with grief and sadness - all covered in barf. I turned off the lights, laid on the couch by my snoozing baby girls, and shut my eyes.
The inside of my eyelids did something I’ve never experienced before. When I shut my eyes, it wasn’t dark - but like a light went on. It was absolutely bizarre, so much so that I opened my eyes to make sure that a light hadn’t somehow been forgotten. But the room was still black with darkness. I closed my eyes again, and the light reappeared. I immediately thought to myself, “Robin, is that you?” The color of the light I saw was exactly the same color as “Robin’s Moon” ... Bright, and golden and curiously captivating.
Johnny called hours later, letting me know that Robin had passed. It solidified what I believe I saw ... the radiant spirit of my amazing mother in law.
Her passing occured two hours before I witnessed the golden glow ... but Johnny reminded me that from there, it’s a two hour flight. My beliefs are ever developing, and a bit too intimate to divulge here. But I saw her. I truly believe that I did.
Rest easy, my sweet Mil. You truly hung the moon.
